Friday, August 19, 2011


***Warning Not The Happiest Of Posts***

     I know usually my post are happy and about the kids, but this one is not going to be one of those posts. This one is not happy, because I'm not happy. I'm fed up and tired and really just need to vent. 

     Seven weeks ago D got a new job, which was great because he would finally be doing what he wanted and making great money. It was a great thought I guess. However the first week he was there screwed us, because "training" week he got crap pay and it set us behind and after that it's been one thing after the other. However that's not the bad part, because now we are good and caught up and can maybe start getting ahead like we use to be.

     The bad part about this whole thing is D's hours! I hate this place. I expected him to have late nights and work some weekends; that comes with his line of work. However I was not expecting him to be out past 7 five nights out of the week and work every weekend. Last week was horrible and we talked about it and he promised things would change, but guess what? They DIDN'T! It's been WORSE! He didn't get to see his kids the first three days of the week and Thursday cam he got home at 7, so he got to finally see them for a little bit. Wednesday he didn't get home till 11:30! It's outrageous! Our son has been walking for a month and yesterday was the first time he saw him. What makes it worse is I'm trying to finish school, I have three weeks left. Him not being here screwed me up completely, luckily we were finally able to figure the child care out and have a wonderful Nanny now. 

     I can't take this. I'm not in this to be a single mother. There are suppose to be two parents in this house, not one that pays the bills and sleeps in the bed at night and is gone before the kids get up. It would be different if we were in a situation where he worked out of town (we've done that before) or he's in the military then I would expect it and could deal with it and work things out better. Not have him making plans I end up having to cancel. 

     There's my venting for now. Sorry if I sound like a big baby, but venting is good. God knows I love him, so much, but I can't do this forever. I think school stress and this and the fact that I REALLY need a vacation is getting to me.