Sunday, July 5, 2015

Did My Surrogacy Transfer Work?

The countdown came and went. Transfer came and went. Now we are here. 

We flew to Vegas on June 22 for the our embryo transfer on June 23. Everything went pretty smoothly and M and I even got to travel the second half of our flights together. 

We had a little trouble figuring out how to get into our hotel but we finally made it. we ate a super late dinner and jumped into bed for some much needed sleep. 

We woke up Tuesday morning super excited for what the day held. We ate some delicious breakfast and headed over to Caesar's Palace to meet up with a fellow surrogate who had transferred the day before. It was really nice getting to meet her!

After that we hopped in our car and headed to the RE's office. I ran in first because we were running a little behind. I went up, signed in, and sat down. As soon as M came in I knew something was wrong. 

Turns out the first embryo didn't make the thaw. 

This was heartbreaking and started the panic of "Maybe this isn't going to work after all". They started thawing the second embryo immediately.  This being their last embryo had us all on edge. A little while later the nurse came out and said the embryo looked fine and they were going to go ahead and do the transfer. This made us kind of wary because they also said the embryo hadn't fully expanded, but that was ok. That part still makes no sense to us. 

The actual transfer was kind of crazy and honestly not a great experience. It was all rushed and not gentle at all. Although I was given a blanket to cover up with they promptly pushed that out of the way when everything started. Dr. S moved me further to the end of the table by pulling my hips. I was almost upside down the majority of the time and couldn't really see what was going on. I figured out later that a sharp jabbing pain I had felt had been him inserting a catheter to "fill up my bladder manually". It really irritates me that I wasn't warned or told they were doing to do that. 

In all. It was rushed, the embryologist was super creepy, and the whole experience left us both confused. 

Even with the crazy transfer we had hope. I had this feeling that things were going to work and it was going to be amazing. 

I rested for the rest of the day and we both went home the next day. Besides being stuck at the evil DFW airport for a little while (I HATE that airport) the ride home was ok. I was so glad to be home. I miss them so much when I'm gone. This was actually the first time I'd been away from all of them for any amount of time. 

This started our wait. My first BETA was set for 8 days past the transfer. This is kind of early compared to other places. I started taking home tests 5 days past the transfer. I never got a good positive on the tests leading up to BETA. I still had hope though. I had cramped like last time and even had a little pink spot that one could interpret as implantation. I thought it was just a little slow and the tests were being slow.

BETA came and I went in with hope. A few antagonizing hours later we found out it probably wasn't the miracle we hoped for. This was devastating, especially for my IPs. This had been their last embryo. 

We stayed in Meds a couple more days for a second BETA. This was just to make sure. I stupidly took another HPT and got a line. I was thrilled! I thought "OMG! It is a late bloomer and we were just too early!". I went into the next BETA with hope again. 

Again our Miracle didn't happen and we are all crushed. 

It's not far or right that these amazing people have to go through all of this heartache. 

I'm not sure were any of us go from here. They have a lot to think about and decide. 

As for me I am waiting to see what they want to do. I have no desire to leave them and run off to "find the next "match"". 


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